Nando....

Nando is my hero-husband!!!  Can tell you a funny story of how we met (we were introduced by a mutual friend in Houston, Texas named Ofelia).  Alas, Ofelia died before even knowing of the fruits of her matchmaking labour!  Anyway - in 1991, I think, Ofelia (whom I'd met at a computer class in Houston, Texas) wanted to matchmake with a guy she knew named Fernando (Nando from here on).  She said "Look, if I give him your address and he writes a letter (obviously before everyone had a PC in their home!) what harm could it do?  If you don't like his letter, throw it in the rubbish.  If you like it, you could reply to him".  And that, alas, was Ofelia's last involvement since she died shortly after that with cancer.  I told her "OK" and maybe that was the LAST conversation we had before Ofelia died.  A letter arrived in the mail from one Fernando Diaz, in Spanish, of course.  It wasn't overly amourous - it was more about establishing a friendship.  He enclosed a photo (that looked like "Bambi"!!!) and a phone number encouraging me to call him collect.  I liked the letter.  It was sincere and from the heart.  I took a chance (oh my gosh, everyone in my family had said "do you KNOW you might've been calling a SERIAL KILLER???") and called him after reading his sincere letter.

We became great penpals over the next 3 months (alas, Ofelia passed away).  We called one another often....soon it became every day and that was way before "phone cards" or Skype or all the tools one has today.  I didn't have a computer, neither did he.  We called one another so often that finally he asked me if I would please do a great favour - to celebrate his birthday with him in Houston.  He sent me an airline ticket (I was scared!!!).  He said "if you accept, I'll book you in such-and-such-hotel because I'm rooming with 6 guys and it wouldn't be RIGHT to bring you here!".  I was scared, but also not afraid.

Here's the funny part, folks!!!  I did accept his invitation and flew to Houston.  He told me he was 5'7" and I told him I was "just under" 30 years of age.  Ahem!!!  BOTH were lies!!!  So....I landed in Houston airport and began looking for guy 5'7" or taller - not one in sight!!  I grew ANGRY, thinking "aw, he stood me up....no other recourse but to get back on the next plane to Florida!".....stood there a good 30 minutes and suddenly this "dude" emerged  who was maybe 5'0" with a bouquet of roses in his face - it was Nando.  HE had lied about his heigth and I had lied about my AGE.  I said "Oh, I thought you'd be taller".  At least he was gentleman enough NOT to say "Oh, I thought you'd be younger!"

At last we finally met up and realized we weren't exactly the height or age we claimed to be, but that we liked one another nonetheless.  Moreover, as Nando didn't drive then he had asked a friend to drive us both from airport (only I didn't know until WAY LATER that the guy didn't even have a driver's license!!).......we left the airport with his friend in the car.  His friend  drove STRAIGHT down a NO ENTRY driveway with cars beeping at him all the while and said to me in Spanish "Gee, I don't know why this ALWAYS happens when I come down this way!"  (duh!!!!)

Anyway - somehow his friend managed to drive us to a Mexican restaurant in downtown Houston, where we 3 had lunch ( I think this was Nando's way to pay his friend for the airport ride).  I was dropped off at a hotel (which Nando had paid for) and didn't see Nando until next day - when he took me to the Zoo and a lot of other places of Houston including a Mexican restaurant called "Doneraki" - I liked him as my friend, and the feeling was mutual.  It wasn't "fireworks" - it was friendship.  When I got back to Florida, having such a good friend as he was (and still is!) - neither one of us could let it go.  We began to call one another every day (sometimes 3 times a day) and each of us ran up over $300 monthly phone bills.  It was at that point that we decided "either I move to Houston or Nando moves to Florida".  My Mum was still alive at the time and was predisposed to DISLIKE Nando at all costs (will explain another time why she felt that way).  She wouldn't even THINK of moving to Houston (although Nando was prepared to pay for all our moving expenses).....so, he came to Florida.  It wasn't easy for him.  I still lived with my Mum (who DESPISED him without even knowing him) and he was forced to rent part of an apartment with two lesbians.

My Mum was so cruel to him (and unjustly so) - eventually in 1994 he asked me to marry him - I accepted; we moved in to a rat-infested, cockroach-infested apartment that we could afford.  We had tried every which way with my Mum to get her approval - was not meant to be.  So we married in the court and then my Mum's "chismosa" (as we say in Spanish: gossipy?) friend read about our wedding in the newspaper (all marriages and divorces and births and deaths were published then) and my Mum called to ask "Oh, is there SOMETHING you want to TELL ME???" - after we married we tried really hard to find a place for the 3 of us, but Mum was quite obstinate at the time.  Even (after 3 years of paying rent in a roach/rat-infested apartment in order to build up some deposit) when we bought our OWN house (and specifically with a mother-in-law room and bathroom (with safety devices) - she would not accept our offer to move in with us.

Then came 3 strokes to my Mum and she was at the point where she absolutely HAD to go to nursing home per law (fire laws).  We visited her daily at first, but it was quite draining - then twice a week.  She had once told me "if you ever put me in a nursing home I will DIE within 24 hours!" - instead she lasted 3 years there and it was a good nursing home with good patient values.   

Oh, but here is where I get to tell you the BEST part - after her 2nd stroke - Nando would take her (per her will) down to the St. John's River bank to watch the fisherman reel up there catches - he put a sun hat on her and made sure she had water, etc.  Quite often he CARRIED her from car to bench.

At the end my Mum would not EAT unless.....Nando fed her.  So there is a turning around in many situations.