TOXIC FRIENDS - WHEN TO PULL THE PLUG:
Caution: Extreme Toxicity
A toxic friend can be defined as someone, who after leaving their presence, drains, exhausts or leaves you gasping for air. Knowing when and how to end this type of friendship can be a sometimes difficult and heartbreaking experience. After all, there must have been some good qualities this person possessed once upon a time, or else why would you have ever had them as a friend to begin with?
But, alas, as sad as it may seem, a toxic friend will always undermine your true potential for happiness. It may be time to consider bidding adieu to this curse and put your own well-being and sanity at the forefront of a less stressed life.
The truest friendships are those that inspire, motivate and elevate you to higher ground. Great friends should build lasting memories, share hopes and dreams and always show up when you need them most. This should be a mutually binding and common goal. In the deepest friendships, you should always have the utmost confidence that your friend seeks only your best interest. Ultimately lasting friendships entail wishes of triumph, success, and bountiful bliss. If you were surrounded by more of these types of people, and less of the toxic variety, life would be richer, always supportive and genuinely everlasting.
Levels of toxicity ~ toxic friends that need to pack their bags:
Poisonous friend #1 ~ The Faker
This person gives the impression of being supportive and sincerely concerned for your well-being, yet all the while gently shooting down every new idea that excites you with negative counter reasons. Contemplating furthering your education? Poisonous friend #1 will tell you 101 reasons why this is not such a good idea, sweetly smiling and taking joy in explaining how taking more classes is a waste of time and pointless. Said friend will revel in dissecting why this silly plan would never work and is not meant for people like you and them.
Poisonous friend #2 ~ The Pessimist
This person doesn't just see the glass half-empty, but thinks paranoia is a golden rule to living one's life. A depressing theory to live by, but their reality nonetheless. They can’t see a positive side to advise you. They will spin tale upon tale of (if you happen to have a relative with breast cancer) all the people THEY know who died of breast cancer. If your dog disappears, they will be FIRST to tell you “most likely she was killed by a car” (whereas others will at least give you the HOPE that your sweet doggie was picked up by a loving family and is OK). The constant complaining that goes along with this sad person releases pure exhaustion, usually setting in the moment you hear their trembling voice. These “friends” will always know “someone” who DIED of a simple cold or had to have brain surgery because of a sinus infection.
Poisonous friend #3 ~ I Know So Much More Than You Do
This person cannot ever compliment you on a job well done but will inevitably tell you how it could be done BETTER (with “their help”) – it could be a work of art, a culinary work – but the compliment will never come. Instead will come a remark that if you would ONLY follow THEIR recipe or art method, it would be SO MUCH BETTER.
Poisonous friend #5 ~ The Whiner
The chronic complainer, the poisonous friend who finds fault in every aspect, facet, and minute detail of their waking life. Nothing is ever good enough, nothing they ever appreciate and nothing in life worth valuing. They will suck the living life out of you, especially when the calls seem to become more panicked and increasingly frequent. This friend is especially insidious because you're trapped from the moment they had you at "hello". They will also interrupt you because THEIR time is more important that yours (ditto Narcissist!).
Poisonous friend #6 ~ The Narcissist
The all about "me" syndrome that follows this poisonous friend is probably not as destructive as the previous 5, but nonetheless, one toxic friend worth discussing. The conversation you share with this hopeless shmuck is riddled with their inability to understand they are actually talking to a real living, breathing, human being. Their voice dominates every subject as if to say you don't matter, and the only reason you may get a chance to get a word in edge wise, is to give them a chance to swallow air. They don't even hear you. They are so completely self-absorbed that every sentence becomes a chess match of how they can top you or relate their own experiences. The longer you give these friends a soapbox, the more time they have to chip away at your self-esteem.
Poisonous friend #8 ~ The Critical Hound
We all know this toxic friend. It can be a relative, a co-worker or your basic annoying friend. They seem to find fault in everything you say and do from the moment you open the door and see their domineering faces. The color and style of your hair, the way you raise your children, to how you manage your money, all seem like fair game in their obscene world. The critical hound chooses to cross that fine line of caring, well-meaning advice and dives head first into the valley of mean, irrational nit-picking. Unfortunately this group sometimes fall into the family realm, which means their instant demise is not so easy. If this is someone you can't eliminate as soon as possible, then take the calmer route and lessen your time with this toxic friend.
Hopefully by identifying toxic friendships early and often, you will eliminate needless stress and unnecessary pain. If your current roster of go-to friends contain some of these annoying characters, free yourself, shed their poison and move on to a higher class of comrades.
P.S. - there are also "toxic relatives" - make sure you do your best (sometimes with relatives it's not as easy to break ties) to ignore such relatives and don't give them any "food" to feed on with their toxicity.
