There is a great film from 2002 called "Mr. & Mrs. Iyer" - it's mostly English, some Hindi, some Tamil. It holds a great deal of information about some of the absurd prejudices between Hindus and Muslims, and it explains some orthodox Hindu traditions (such as not drinking directly from a bottle). But it GROWS to be inclusive of all mankind.
It was written and directed by Aparna Sen who was an actress in India in the 1960's - I can think of one great film she was in "The Guru" (supposed to be story of late Beatle George Harrison). Ironically, her daughter (who turns out to be one great actress!) is in this story: "Konkona Sen Sharma" as an Orthodox Hindu (Tamil) on a bus ride that changes along the way and turns into a labyrinth of mystery and forlorn love.
If you can't see the film, please enjoy the main theme "Don't Look Away" remix:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaumVQai9qo
Two people who are meant to be together for a while, change their views and prejudices, then "look away".
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Good Ole' Uncle Arturo
I had an Uncle who was such a spendthrift that he “squeaked” (just kidding) when he walked. Uncle Arturo (or “Art” as we called him – he even skimped on his name!) was a rare breed. He cut his own hair – “why pay a barber?” he would say. He cut his wife’s and two daughters’ hair (although many times they cried with the end results). “Why pay a hairdresser?” he would say. He even took toilet paper from public restrooms. “Why BUY toilet paper when I can get it for free?”. I can tell you some stories about Uncle Art that would put hair on your chest. He wouldn’t buy his family a TV – “Why should I? I have a perfectly good radio and can listen to radio for free!”. Uncle Art didn’t even believe in washing towels (and their towels were so dingy we were afraid to even touch them!) – his theory was “One is CLEAN when one uses a towel, so why waste water and soap to wash it??”
He put a 5-minute timer on the shower and if one showered longer than that, one was rudely awakened by ice cold water. Again…..it was to save money. Lights out by 10:00 p.m. because he didn’t want a high electric bill. He rode a bicycle to work (“Hey! Why should I spend perfectly good money on gasoline when I can get my exercise and save money at the same time?).
But there is a really sad ending to the story. I don’t really know WHAT he was saving all that money FOR. He and his wife were sadly killed in a car accident and their 2 daughters (then in their early twenties) inherited all their money. LET me TELL you……those two girls went through their Dad & Mum’s life-savings in about 6 months!!!!….and it was a fortune they were left! They ran out and bought expensive cars, homes well beyond their eventual means (they didn’t THINK about property taxes, etc.) They had their nails manicured and feet pedicured….at a very costly price. They went to hair salons that charged $40 a haircut.
SADLY – I thought about Uncle Art. He was a good man who lived a very honest life (as did Aunt Maria). But what did all that scrimping and saving achieve??? Their daughters lost their houses to bankruptcy and had not a penny in their accounts when all was said and done.
I compared Uncle Art’s life to our own. Yes, I know how to cut my husband’s hair and my daughter’s hair (although both screamed when I cut it the first time) – but we are in an economic recession – so I save money (for whom when I die?) and make a barber and hair salon go out of business because I’ve not given them any business?? Doesn’t the economy depend on consumer spending?
Sure, I could get a roll of toilet paper from every public toilet I visited, but that would be STEALING, and I don’t mind spending on that and keeping some toilet-paper industry employees in jobs. I could ride a bicycle to work and back to save money – but how would that be helping the economy?
There comes a time when we have to WEIGH what we contribute to the economy vs. what we can do for free. Of course we can do many things for free – but where does that leave the economy? There has to be BALANCE in what we do. Fanaticism to any degree doesn’t work and since tomorrow is never PROMISED to us – we never know…..a car accident COULD take our lives, then perhaps all we’d scrimped and saved would go (perhaps in trust if it’s a minor) to our offspring…..but they may decide to use it to put in CRYSTAL stairways and golden doors. We don’t know what they’ll do.
After knowing the story of Uncle Art my theory is – it’s perfectly OK to do “green” things like grow one’s own garden with veggies. And it’s not a bad idea (although we would never set the timer for that) to limit showers to 10 minutes to save water. But the rest??? We have to let others make a living or our whole economy goes DOWN. And that might mean a hairdresser or barber or gas (petrol) station closes because of lack of customers. Everything has a chain reaction. We want the economy to go up? We want our investments to increase? Then we'd best contribute to getting the economy on its feet again by helping keep jobs alive and well.
I AM still upset over dishwashing detergents and how they are gradually making it impossible to open the tops, but MOSTLY because of ecology…..I don’t want to throw plastic bottles away! Our recycling won’t accept such plastic bottles unless they’re RINSED and CLEAN – but how does one rinse and clean if the top won’t come off??
There is a MIDDLE road for everything in life. We can’t follow Uncle Art because we will see that his heirs spend their money on nonsense. Yes, the MIDDLE road is good.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Dishwashing Detergents.......
Oh, I am very, very disappointed with the manufacturers of many dishwashing detergents. It USED to be that one could simply unscrew the top. Now, many have put a protective plastic device that prevents it from being opened. Firstly - of course I understand THEIR point.....they want to make money, and they want you to buy more detergent!!!
However, in addition to preventing customers from opening the top, adding water to use up the LAST DROPS of detergent.....it also prevents one from RINSING out the plastic bottle so that it can be recycled! Recycling department won't take the bottle "as is" (with all that detergent residue) - they want it rinsed out.
So here is a case where going "green" is outweighed by a company's desire to make more money, and I notice it on more and more brands.
However, in addition to preventing customers from opening the top, adding water to use up the LAST DROPS of detergent.....it also prevents one from RINSING out the plastic bottle so that it can be recycled! Recycling department won't take the bottle "as is" (with all that detergent residue) - they want it rinsed out.
So here is a case where going "green" is outweighed by a company's desire to make more money, and I notice it on more and more brands.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Flower Drum Song.....
If you have NEVER treated yourself to viewing the 1961 Rogers and Hammerstein film "Flower Drum Song", you are missing so much!!! I present SOME of the lyrics of this wonderful musical:
“THE OTHER GENERATION”
What are we going to do about
The Other Generation?
How will ever communicate
Without communication?
You can't account for what they'll say or do.
And what peculiar thoughts they think
They never reveal to you.
A very discouraging problem is
The Other Generation.
They want to lead a life that's all their own.
Perhaps we ought to let them,
Forsake them and forget them!
But then we'd only find ourselves alone.--With one another!--
I don't believe we'd like to be alone!
What are we going to do about
The Other Generation?
They never take the blame for one mistake.--Oh no!--
Their parents are responsible
For ev'ry mistake they make!
A very discouraging problem is
The Other Generation.
And soon there'll be another one as well!
And when our out of hand sons
Are bringing up our grandsons,
I hope our grandsons give their fathers hell!--Can't wait to see it!--
I hope our grandsons give their fathers hell!
(Reprise)
Well, the more I see of grownups
The less I want to grow.
The more I see what they have learned
The less I want to know.
And yet we've got to all grow up,
There's no place else to go.
I wonder why we're all so poor
And they've got all the dough!
What are we going to do about
The Other Generation?
How will ever communicate
Without communication?
When we are using words the modern way,
They're much too big to try to dig
The colorful things we say.
If we could take over the training of
The Other Generation,
We know we could improve them quite a lot.
But they will never let us.
They stay the way they met us,
And so we're simply stuck with what we've got.--You can't improve them.--
The kids are simply stuck with what they've got.
What are we going to do about
The Other Generation?
How are we going to stop them when
They start an explanation
Of "What is used to mean to be a kid!"
The clean and wholesome fun they had,
The innocent things they did!
They all had a wonderful childhood in
The Other Generation.
The games they played were bright and gay and loud.
They used to shout "Red Rover,
Red Rover please come over!"
They must have been an awful droopy crowd when they were younger.
They must have been an awful droopy crowd
The Other Generation?
How will ever communicate
Without communication?
You can't account for what they'll say or do.
And what peculiar thoughts they think
They never reveal to you.
A very discouraging problem is
The Other Generation.
They want to lead a life that's all their own.
Perhaps we ought to let them,
Forsake them and forget them!
But then we'd only find ourselves alone.--With one another!--
I don't believe we'd like to be alone!
What are we going to do about
The Other Generation?
They never take the blame for one mistake.--Oh no!--
Their parents are responsible
For ev'ry mistake they make!
A very discouraging problem is
The Other Generation.
And soon there'll be another one as well!
And when our out of hand sons
Are bringing up our grandsons,
I hope our grandsons give their fathers hell!--Can't wait to see it!--
I hope our grandsons give their fathers hell!
(Reprise)
Well, the more I see of grownups
The less I want to grow.
The more I see what they have learned
The less I want to know.
And yet we've got to all grow up,
There's no place else to go.
I wonder why we're all so poor
And they've got all the dough!
What are we going to do about
The Other Generation?
How will ever communicate
Without communication?
When we are using words the modern way,
They're much too big to try to dig
The colorful things we say.
If we could take over the training of
The Other Generation,
We know we could improve them quite a lot.
But they will never let us.
They stay the way they met us,
And so we're simply stuck with what we've got.--You can't improve them.--
The kids are simply stuck with what they've got.
What are we going to do about
The Other Generation?
How are we going to stop them when
They start an explanation
Of "What is used to mean to be a kid!"
The clean and wholesome fun they had,
The innocent things they did!
They all had a wonderful childhood in
The Other Generation.
The games they played were bright and gay and loud.
They used to shout "Red Rover,
Red Rover please come over!"
They must have been an awful droopy crowd when they were younger.
They must have been an awful droopy crowd
“I ENJOY BEING A GIRL”
I'm a girl, and by me that's only great!
I am proud that my silhouette is curvy,
That I walk with a sweet and girlish gait
With my hips kind of swivelly and swervy.
I adore being dressed in something frilly
When my date comes to get me at my place.
Out I go with my Joe or John or Billy,
Like a filly who is ready for the race!
When I have a brand new hairdo
With my eyelashes all in curl,
I float as the clouds on air do,
I enjoy being a girl!
When men say I'm cute and funny
And my teeth aren't teeth, but pearl,
I just lap it up like honey
I enjoy being a girl!
I flip when a fellow sends me flowers,
I drool over dresses made of lace,
I talk on the telephone for hours
With a pound and a half of cream upon my face!
I'm strictly a female female
And my future I hope will be
In the home of a brave and free male
Who'll enjoy being a guy having a girl... like... me.
When men say I'm sweet as candy
As around in a dance we whirl,
It goes to my head like brandy,
I enjoy being a girl!
When someone with eyes that smoulder
Says he loves every silken curl
That falls on my ivory shoulder,
I enjoy being a girl!
When I hear the complimentary whistle
That greets my bikini by the sea,
I turn and I glower and I bristle,
But I happy to know the whistle's meant for me!
I'm strictly a female female
And my future I hope will be
In the home of a brave and free male
Who'll enjoy being a guy having a girl... like... me.
_______________________________________________________________________________
I am proud that my silhouette is curvy,
That I walk with a sweet and girlish gait
With my hips kind of swivelly and swervy.
I adore being dressed in something frilly
When my date comes to get me at my place.
Out I go with my Joe or John or Billy,
Like a filly who is ready for the race!
When I have a brand new hairdo
With my eyelashes all in curl,
I float as the clouds on air do,
I enjoy being a girl!
When men say I'm cute and funny
And my teeth aren't teeth, but pearl,
I just lap it up like honey
I enjoy being a girl!
I flip when a fellow sends me flowers,
I drool over dresses made of lace,
I talk on the telephone for hours
With a pound and a half of cream upon my face!
I'm strictly a female female
And my future I hope will be
In the home of a brave and free male
Who'll enjoy being a guy having a girl... like... me.
When men say I'm sweet as candy
As around in a dance we whirl,
It goes to my head like brandy,
I enjoy being a girl!
When someone with eyes that smoulder
Says he loves every silken curl
That falls on my ivory shoulder,
I enjoy being a girl!
When I hear the complimentary whistle
That greets my bikini by the sea,
I turn and I glower and I bristle,
But I happy to know the whistle's meant for me!
I'm strictly a female female
And my future I hope will be
In the home of a brave and free male
Who'll enjoy being a guy having a girl... like... me.
_______________________________________________________________________________
“CHOP SUEY”
Chop suey, chop suey!
Living here is very much like chop suey.
Hula hoops and nuclear war,
Doctor Salk and Zsa Zsa Gabor,
Bobby Darin, Sandra Dee, and Dewey,
Chop suey, --Chop suey!--
Stars are drifting overhead,
Birds and worms have gone to bed.
Men work late in laboratories,
Others read detective stories.
Some are roaming 'round the country,
Others sit beneath just one tree.
Tonight on TV's Late, Late Show
You can look at Clara Bow! --Who?--
Chop suey, chop suey!
Good and bad, intelligent, mad, and screwy.
Violins and trumpets and drums,
Take it all the way that it comes,
Sad and funny, sour and honey dewy,
Chop suey!
Ballpoint pens and filter tips,
Lipsticks and potato chips.
In the dampest kind of heat wave
You can give your hair a neat wave.
Hear that lovely La Paloma,
Lullaby by Perry Como.
Dreaming in my Maidenform bra,
Dreamed I danced the Cha-Cha-Cha.
Chop suey, chop suey!
Mixed with all the hokum and bally hooey.
Something real and glowing grand.
Sheds a light all over the land.
Boston, Austin, Wichita, and St. Louis,
Chop suey.
Chop suey, chop suey!
Chop suey, chop suey!
Living here is very much like chop suey.
Hula hoops and nuclear war,
Doctor Salk and Zsa Zsa Gabor,
Bobby Darin, Sandra Dee, and Dewey,
Chop suey, --Chop suey!--
Stars are drifting overhead,
Birds and worms have gone to bed.
Men work late in laboratories,
Others read detective stories.
Some are roaming 'round the country,
Others sit beneath just one tree.
Tonight on TV's Late, Late Show
You can look at Clara Bow! --Who?--
Chop suey, chop suey!
Good and bad, intelligent, mad, and screwy.
Violins and trumpets and drums,
Take it all the way that it comes,
Sad and funny, sour and honey dewy,
Chop suey!
Ballpoint pens and filter tips,
Lipsticks and potato chips.
In the dampest kind of heat wave
You can give your hair a neat wave.
Hear that lovely La Paloma,
Lullaby by Perry Como.
Dreaming in my Maidenform bra,
Dreamed I danced the Cha-Cha-Cha.
Chop suey, chop suey!
Mixed with all the hokum and bally hooey.
Something real and glowing grand.
Sheds a light all over the land.
Boston, Austin, Wichita, and St. Louis,
Chop suey.
Chop suey, chop suey!
Chop suey, chop suey!
“LOVE LOOK AWAY”
I have wished before,
I will wish no more.
Love, look away!
Love, look away from me.
Fly, when you pass my door,
Fly and get lost at sea.
Call it a day.
Love, let us say we're through.
No good are you for me,
No good am I for you.
Wanting you so,
I try too much.
After you go,
I cry too much.
Love, look away.
Lonely though I may be,
Leave me and set me free,
Look away, look away, look away... from... me.
_______________________________________________________________________________
I will wish no more.
Love, look away!
Love, look away from me.
Fly, when you pass my door,
Fly and get lost at sea.
Call it a day.
Love, let us say we're through.
No good are you for me,
No good am I for you.
Wanting you so,
I try too much.
After you go,
I cry too much.
Love, look away.
Lonely though I may be,
Leave me and set me free,
Look away, look away, look away... from... me.
_______________________________________________________________________________
“I AM GOING TO LIKE IT HERE”
I'm going to like it here.
There is something about the place,
An encouraging atmosphere,
Like a smile on a friendly face.
There is something about the place,
So caressing and warm it is.
Like a smile on a friendly face,
Like a port in a storm it is.
So caressing and warm it is.
All the people are so sincere.
Like a port in a storm it is.
I am going to like here.
All the people are so sincere.
There's especially one I like.
I am going to like here.
It's the father's first son I like.
There's especially one I like.
There is something about his face.
It's the father's first son I like.
He's the reason I love the place.
There is something about his face.
I would follow him anywhere.
If he goes to another place,
I am going to like it there.
There is something about the place,
An encouraging atmosphere,
Like a smile on a friendly face.
There is something about the place,
So caressing and warm it is.
Like a smile on a friendly face,
Like a port in a storm it is.
So caressing and warm it is.
All the people are so sincere.
Like a port in a storm it is.
I am going to like here.
All the people are so sincere.
There's especially one I like.
I am going to like here.
It's the father's first son I like.
There's especially one I like.
There is something about his face.
It's the father's first son I like.
He's the reason I love the place.
There is something about his face.
I would follow him anywhere.
If he goes to another place,
I am going to like it there.
“DON'T MARRY ME”
You are young and beautiful,
Sweet as the breath of May.
Earnestly I speak to you.
Weigh ev'ry word I say.
If you want to have a rosy future
And be happy as a honey bee,
With a husband who will always love you,
Baby, Don't marry me.
If you want a man you can depend on,
I can absolutely guarantee
I will never fail to disappoint you,
Baby, Don't marry me.
I eat litchie nuts and cookies in bed
And I fill the bed with nutshells and crumbs.
I have irritating habits you'll dread,
Like the way I have of cracking my thumbs.
My grandpa was a big game hunter,
He met grandma swinging on a tree.
If you want to have attactive children,
Baby, Don't marry me.
--I would like to see my sons and daughters
Sliding up and down their father's knee.--
They'll get splinters in their little fannies,
Cookie, Don't marry me.
I'm devoted to my dear old Mama,
And if you and Mama disagree,
I would always side with her against you,
Schnookie, Don't marry me.
--I would always like to know where you go.
I don't like a man to keep me in doubt.--
Honey that's a thing that's easy to know,
You will always know where I am, I'm out!
I am talking like a Chinese uncle.
I'm as serious as I can be.
I am saying this because I love you,
Darling, Don't marry me!
Sweet as the breath of May.
Earnestly I speak to you.
Weigh ev'ry word I say.
If you want to have a rosy future
And be happy as a honey bee,
With a husband who will always love you,
Baby, Don't marry me.
If you want a man you can depend on,
I can absolutely guarantee
I will never fail to disappoint you,
Baby, Don't marry me.
I eat litchie nuts and cookies in bed
And I fill the bed with nutshells and crumbs.
I have irritating habits you'll dread,
Like the way I have of cracking my thumbs.
My grandpa was a big game hunter,
He met grandma swinging on a tree.
If you want to have attactive children,
Baby, Don't marry me.
--I would like to see my sons and daughters
Sliding up and down their father's knee.--
They'll get splinters in their little fannies,
Cookie, Don't marry me.
I'm devoted to my dear old Mama,
And if you and Mama disagree,
I would always side with her against you,
Schnookie, Don't marry me.
--I would always like to know where you go.
I don't like a man to keep me in doubt.--
Honey that's a thing that's easy to know,
You will always know where I am, I'm out!
I am talking like a Chinese uncle.
I'm as serious as I can be.
I am saying this because I love you,
Darling, Don't marry me!
“YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL”
Along the Hwang Ho Valley where young men walk and dream,
A flower boat with singing girls came drifting down the stream.
I saw the face of only one come drifting down the stream.
You are beautiful, small and shy.
You are the girl whose eyes met mine
Just as your boat sailed by.
This I know of you, nothing more,
You are the girl whose eyes met mine
Passing the river shore.
You are the girl whose laugh I heard,
Silver and soft and bright;
Soft as the fall of lotus leaves
Brushing the air of night.
While your flower boat sailed away,
Gently your eyes looked back on mine,
Clearly you heard me say,
"You are the girl I will love some day."
A flower boat with singing girls came drifting down the stream.
I saw the face of only one come drifting down the stream.
You are beautiful, small and shy.
You are the girl whose eyes met mine
Just as your boat sailed by.
This I know of you, nothing more,
You are the girl whose eyes met mine
Passing the river shore.
You are the girl whose laugh I heard,
Silver and soft and bright;
Soft as the fall of lotus leaves
Brushing the air of night.
While your flower boat sailed away,
Gently your eyes looked back on mine,
Clearly you heard me say,
"You are the girl I will love some day."
“A HUNDRED MILLION MIRACLES”
My father says that children keep growing,
Rivers keep flowing too.
My father says he doesn't know why,
But somehow or other they do.
--They do! some how or other they do.--
A hundred million miracles,
A hundred million miracles are happening every day,
And those who say they don't agree
Are those who do not hear or see.
A hundred million miracles,
A hundred million miracles are happening every day,
--Miracle of changing weather:--
When a dark blue curtain is pinned by the stars,
Pinned by the stars to the sky,
Ev'ry flow'r and tree is a treat to see,
The air is very clean and dry.
Then a wind comes blowing the pins all away,
Night is confused and upset!
The sky falls down like a clumsy clown,
The flowers and the trees get wet.--Very wet!--
A hundred million miracles,
A hundred million miracles are happening every day,
And when the wind shall turn his face,
The pins are put right back in place!
A hundred million miracles,
A hundred million miracles are happening every day!
In every single minute so much is going on,
Along the Yangtse Kiang or the Tiber or the Don.
A hundred million miracles!
A swallow in Tasmania is sitting on her eggs,
And suddenly those eggs have wings and eyes and beaks and legs!
A hundred million miracles!
A little girl in Chungking, just thirty inches tall,
Decides that she will try to walk and nearly doesn't fall!
A hundred million miracles!
A hundred million miracles, a hundred million miracles,
A hundred million miracles are happening every day!
My father says the sun will keep rising over the eastern hill.
My father says he doesn't know why but somehow or other it will.
--It will! somehow or other it will.--
(Reprise)
--Miracle of making music:--
When an idle poet puts words on a page,
Writes on a page with his brush,
A musical friend writes the notes to blend
Suggested by an idle thrush.
Then a young soprano reads what they wrote,
Learns every note, every word,
Puts all they wrote in her lovely throat,
And suddenly a song is heard!
--Very Pretty!--
A hundred million miracles, a hundred million miracles,
A hundred million miracles are happening every day!
Rivers keep flowing too.
My father says he doesn't know why,
But somehow or other they do.
--They do! some how or other they do.--
A hundred million miracles,
A hundred million miracles are happening every day,
And those who say they don't agree
Are those who do not hear or see.
A hundred million miracles,
A hundred million miracles are happening every day,
--Miracle of changing weather:--
When a dark blue curtain is pinned by the stars,
Pinned by the stars to the sky,
Ev'ry flow'r and tree is a treat to see,
The air is very clean and dry.
Then a wind comes blowing the pins all away,
Night is confused and upset!
The sky falls down like a clumsy clown,
The flowers and the trees get wet.--Very wet!--
A hundred million miracles,
A hundred million miracles are happening every day,
And when the wind shall turn his face,
The pins are put right back in place!
A hundred million miracles,
A hundred million miracles are happening every day!
In every single minute so much is going on,
Along the Yangtse Kiang or the Tiber or the Don.
A hundred million miracles!
A swallow in Tasmania is sitting on her eggs,
And suddenly those eggs have wings and eyes and beaks and legs!
A hundred million miracles!
A little girl in Chungking, just thirty inches tall,
Decides that she will try to walk and nearly doesn't fall!
A hundred million miracles!
A hundred million miracles, a hundred million miracles,
A hundred million miracles are happening every day!
My father says the sun will keep rising over the eastern hill.
My father says he doesn't know why but somehow or other it will.
--It will! somehow or other it will.--
(Reprise)
--Miracle of making music:--
When an idle poet puts words on a page,
Writes on a page with his brush,
A musical friend writes the notes to blend
Suggested by an idle thrush.
Then a young soprano reads what they wrote,
Learns every note, every word,
Puts all they wrote in her lovely throat,
And suddenly a song is heard!
--Very Pretty!--
A hundred million miracles, a hundred million miracles,
A hundred million miracles are happening every day!
IPADS for sale - half price
As you all know, my husband works in hospital. They ordered too many, and now due to government cutbacks have to sell them - at any price. My husband has about 20 left, so you'd best order quickly as they are going FAST!
Here is a picture with the model and make and all the specs so you know what you are buying:
Here is a picture with the model and make and all the specs so you know what you are buying:
Saturday, August 27, 2011
How did my husband come to America???
This is a long, long story, so I suggest you pull up a chair, have a cup of tea or coffee as you read it.
My husband, who was born in a "hut" in Mexico - with earthen floor, no electricity, no plumbing......dreamed of what it might be like to live in America ("el Norte" as it is often referred to in Mexico and other places).
I'm not quite sure of which year Jimmy Carter was President of USA, but during his Presidency, he opened up an "amnesty" for agricultural workers.....one that would last until 1990, I believe (then it closed). It wasn't a "blanket amnesty" - one had to prove that one had worked at least 6 months in agricultural work, had no criminal history and then could apply for "amnesty".
Sometime in 1988 - my husband would come to America.....by going UNDER a 16-wheeler truck and holding on for dear life. He didn't pay a "coyote" (people paid to smuggle one across the border between Mexico and USA). It was a long, long arduous journey "holding on" - and had he let go at any time, he certainly would have been killed.
SOMEHOW - he landed in Dallas, Texas and that was a miracle in itself. He found a job picking "okra" ("ladies fingers" is how we referred to them in Asia). That was an agricultural job, thus he would eventually qualify for Amnesty.
He is a clean person without any criminal history - however, when he was processing his paperwork (by that time we were married) Immigration gave him such a hard, hard time. They charged him $1,000. for having crossed the border "illegally" even though Amnesty was in effect!
Gosh, how I remember those days and nights. If he had an 8:00 a.m. appointment with Immigration - we camped out from 3:00 a.m. onwards because if one was not in the first 50 in line (appointment or not) - one would be sent away by a security guard. I also can remember a time when FINALLY my husband could apply for the much-valued Green card. We had gone to 6 different photographers, knowing that Immigration could be "picky" on the photos. We had about 36 photos taken in all. When he went to Immigration in Orlando with his photos (all 36 of them!) he encountered a true WITCH (and I prefer this word to any that begins with the letter "B").......she had a stamp that read "rejected" and she promptly stamped EACH and EVERY photo my husband turned in....can you believe this??? It's true. She then told him he needed to make another appointment with Immigration (which was almost like making an appointment to see the President!). My husband broke down and cried after that horrible incident. I told him "we'll face this battle together - not to worry!!" Can you believe that 5 months later (oh yes, we had to camp out for our given appointment) he came in with copies of the SAME photographs the Witch had denied, and the Officer looked at the first two and said "Accepted to next step!"
People sometimes think that he had it easy being married to a U.S. citizen - no way!!! He had to study day and night with the Citizenship Booklet. I went with him to the examination - 2 (one from Russia, another from Ukraine) came out CRYING that day.....it was "touch and go" although I knew my husband had studied really, really hard for this test. Can you believe, he came out with a SAD face (hoping to kid me!) and said "I didn't pass" - then he clicked his heels and said "JUST KIDDING!!!" and he was then awarded U.S. Citizenship!!!
His Citizenship ceremony was really moving and a lot of our friends attended. When one thinks of HOW it all started - clinging on the bottom of a 16-wheel truck.....it is truly amazing.
If you ASK me about the "Dream Act" (whereby children brought to USA illegally can qualify to become citizens if they serve in Military or attend College/University) - YES, I do believe in that!!!! America eats apples, grapes, tomatoes, etc.....it's about time they realized WHERE their food was actually coming from. TOO often - people who normally care about Human Rights in America focus only on those whe are legally documented (i.e., African-Americans, Puerto Ricans) - they don't really want to cross that "line" into Immigration territory...in spite of the fact that almost every fruit or vegetable on their table came from being picked by someone (documented or indocumented) from Mexico.
A very good film to watch is "A Day Without a Mexican" - it depicts how helpless USA would be if we deported all Mexicans.
Anyway - and I know this will make a lot of wives jealous - my Mexican husband is the BEST husband and father (to our daughter) one would EVER, EVER ask for - he appreciates my work. He sees when I am tired and puts a cassock for my feet to rest upon. I have "dry feet" and he gives me what he calls "bodyshop" which means thorough rasping of feet followed by cream treatment. He is my knight in shining armour and I thank God for him every day of my life.
When we do go out to eat (at restaurants) - we notice that we are the only PAIR actually TALKING to one another.....so many other couples eat and sit in total silence.
He is my strength and rock - and God, I love this man who married me with ALL my heart!
My husband, who was born in a "hut" in Mexico - with earthen floor, no electricity, no plumbing......dreamed of what it might be like to live in America ("el Norte" as it is often referred to in Mexico and other places).
I'm not quite sure of which year Jimmy Carter was President of USA, but during his Presidency, he opened up an "amnesty" for agricultural workers.....one that would last until 1990, I believe (then it closed). It wasn't a "blanket amnesty" - one had to prove that one had worked at least 6 months in agricultural work, had no criminal history and then could apply for "amnesty".
Sometime in 1988 - my husband would come to America.....by going UNDER a 16-wheeler truck and holding on for dear life. He didn't pay a "coyote" (people paid to smuggle one across the border between Mexico and USA). It was a long, long arduous journey "holding on" - and had he let go at any time, he certainly would have been killed.
SOMEHOW - he landed in Dallas, Texas and that was a miracle in itself. He found a job picking "okra" ("ladies fingers" is how we referred to them in Asia). That was an agricultural job, thus he would eventually qualify for Amnesty.
He is a clean person without any criminal history - however, when he was processing his paperwork (by that time we were married) Immigration gave him such a hard, hard time. They charged him $1,000. for having crossed the border "illegally" even though Amnesty was in effect!
Gosh, how I remember those days and nights. If he had an 8:00 a.m. appointment with Immigration - we camped out from 3:00 a.m. onwards because if one was not in the first 50 in line (appointment or not) - one would be sent away by a security guard. I also can remember a time when FINALLY my husband could apply for the much-valued Green card. We had gone to 6 different photographers, knowing that Immigration could be "picky" on the photos. We had about 36 photos taken in all. When he went to Immigration in Orlando with his photos (all 36 of them!) he encountered a true WITCH (and I prefer this word to any that begins with the letter "B").......she had a stamp that read "rejected" and she promptly stamped EACH and EVERY photo my husband turned in....can you believe this??? It's true. She then told him he needed to make another appointment with Immigration (which was almost like making an appointment to see the President!). My husband broke down and cried after that horrible incident. I told him "we'll face this battle together - not to worry!!" Can you believe that 5 months later (oh yes, we had to camp out for our given appointment) he came in with copies of the SAME photographs the Witch had denied, and the Officer looked at the first two and said "Accepted to next step!"
People sometimes think that he had it easy being married to a U.S. citizen - no way!!! He had to study day and night with the Citizenship Booklet. I went with him to the examination - 2 (one from Russia, another from Ukraine) came out CRYING that day.....it was "touch and go" although I knew my husband had studied really, really hard for this test. Can you believe, he came out with a SAD face (hoping to kid me!) and said "I didn't pass" - then he clicked his heels and said "JUST KIDDING!!!" and he was then awarded U.S. Citizenship!!!
His Citizenship ceremony was really moving and a lot of our friends attended. When one thinks of HOW it all started - clinging on the bottom of a 16-wheel truck.....it is truly amazing.
If you ASK me about the "Dream Act" (whereby children brought to USA illegally can qualify to become citizens if they serve in Military or attend College/University) - YES, I do believe in that!!!! America eats apples, grapes, tomatoes, etc.....it's about time they realized WHERE their food was actually coming from. TOO often - people who normally care about Human Rights in America focus only on those whe are legally documented (i.e., African-Americans, Puerto Ricans) - they don't really want to cross that "line" into Immigration territory...in spite of the fact that almost every fruit or vegetable on their table came from being picked by someone (documented or indocumented) from Mexico.
A very good film to watch is "A Day Without a Mexican" - it depicts how helpless USA would be if we deported all Mexicans.
Anyway - and I know this will make a lot of wives jealous - my Mexican husband is the BEST husband and father (to our daughter) one would EVER, EVER ask for - he appreciates my work. He sees when I am tired and puts a cassock for my feet to rest upon. I have "dry feet" and he gives me what he calls "bodyshop" which means thorough rasping of feet followed by cream treatment. He is my knight in shining armour and I thank God for him every day of my life.
When we do go out to eat (at restaurants) - we notice that we are the only PAIR actually TALKING to one another.....so many other couples eat and sit in total silence.
He is my strength and rock - and God, I love this man who married me with ALL my heart!
The Little Bird Story......
My sweet, sweet husband hailed from a place in Mexico where it was literally a "hut", not a house. In the times he lived there with his super-mean Grandmama - there were only dirt (earth) floors, no plumbing and no electricity. His mother died in complications of childbirth to him (a few months later - and believe me, his family BLAMED my poor husband for "killing his mother"). That left only his Dad, who was a very poor man who collected "leña" (odd pieces of wood for firewood) up in the mountains. Many times he would be gone for weeks or months to collect the leña. Meanwhile - my hubby lived with his Grandmama (since his brothers and sisters were grown and had their own places to live).
Hid Grandmama was really MEAN - in fact, she lived to be almost 110 years old (probably being ornery kept her alive that long!!!) - and when the Governor of that state came to award her a plaque for being the oldest person in the state (possibly the oldest in Mexico) - she came after him with a machete yelling "All you Government people are the SAME - you all want to steal our land!!!" So, the Governor never got to present her with the plaque.
ANYWAY - one of the meanest things (besides beating my husband senseless for nothing) she used to do was to demand that he catch one bird daily with his slingshot (which she de-feathered, cooked and served - in spite of what little meat it offered). But my husband was (and still is!) an animal lover. He felt so guilty killing a poor little bird.
One day he caught (in his hand) a bird and was determined that it would not be eaten. He was about 5 years old at the time. THIS little bird would become his pet, his friend and he would hide it and save it from being eaten. He told his Grandmama a lie that he had not caught any bird that evening.
In his loving hands he took this little bird (whom he named "piocito") to his "bed" (I say "bed" in quotes because he had a straw mat on the earthen floor). However, during the night, as he caressed "piocito" with loving thoughts, he accidentally rolled over on it and killed it.
Morning came and his Grandmama, seeing the dead bird was FURIOUS at him for not having turned it in to her the previous evening. Not only was poor "piocito" defeathered and COOKED - but my husband was beaten with a very thorny and heavy stick.
Somehow, since that day, he has a very special relationship with birds. He has rescued about 4 since I've known him. One of the 4 died, but it must have been very sick to begin with (a pigeon). One of the birds he rescued was a "starling" and we know a person who makes a wry face and utters an UGH about starlings because they are not "native" to the Americas. But that's not THEIR fault - some idiot scientist brought them over and here they are. Anyway - to this day his relationship to all wildlife, but especially birds is very, very close.
The mean Grandmama? She died at about 110 years of age. The "hut"?? My husband and I signed over all rights (as did his sisters and brothers) when the younger half-brother (his Dad remarried at a later date) wanted to have the house to raise his family. He put in a floor, plumbing, electricity - that was the least we could do was to sign over the "house".
There is a LONG story about how my sweet husband came to America; I will tell it another time.
Hid Grandmama was really MEAN - in fact, she lived to be almost 110 years old (probably being ornery kept her alive that long!!!) - and when the Governor of that state came to award her a plaque for being the oldest person in the state (possibly the oldest in Mexico) - she came after him with a machete yelling "All you Government people are the SAME - you all want to steal our land!!!" So, the Governor never got to present her with the plaque.
ANYWAY - one of the meanest things (besides beating my husband senseless for nothing) she used to do was to demand that he catch one bird daily with his slingshot (which she de-feathered, cooked and served - in spite of what little meat it offered). But my husband was (and still is!) an animal lover. He felt so guilty killing a poor little bird.
One day he caught (in his hand) a bird and was determined that it would not be eaten. He was about 5 years old at the time. THIS little bird would become his pet, his friend and he would hide it and save it from being eaten. He told his Grandmama a lie that he had not caught any bird that evening.
In his loving hands he took this little bird (whom he named "piocito") to his "bed" (I say "bed" in quotes because he had a straw mat on the earthen floor). However, during the night, as he caressed "piocito" with loving thoughts, he accidentally rolled over on it and killed it.
Morning came and his Grandmama, seeing the dead bird was FURIOUS at him for not having turned it in to her the previous evening. Not only was poor "piocito" defeathered and COOKED - but my husband was beaten with a very thorny and heavy stick.
Somehow, since that day, he has a very special relationship with birds. He has rescued about 4 since I've known him. One of the 4 died, but it must have been very sick to begin with (a pigeon). One of the birds he rescued was a "starling" and we know a person who makes a wry face and utters an UGH about starlings because they are not "native" to the Americas. But that's not THEIR fault - some idiot scientist brought them over and here they are. Anyway - to this day his relationship to all wildlife, but especially birds is very, very close.
The mean Grandmama? She died at about 110 years of age. The "hut"?? My husband and I signed over all rights (as did his sisters and brothers) when the younger half-brother (his Dad remarried at a later date) wanted to have the house to raise his family. He put in a floor, plumbing, electricity - that was the least we could do was to sign over the "house".
There is a LONG story about how my sweet husband came to America; I will tell it another time.
Turnips and Rutabagas.....a story!
My father grew up not only in the Great Depression, but his father walked out the door when he was about 6 or 7 years old (we never quite knew the WHOLE story)....leaving my Dad, his Mum and a younger sister. At a very early age my Dad felt responsible for caring for "the family". He would do all he could in the way of odd jobs to feed his Mum (who had limited skills in education and English), his sister and himself. One of the places he was lucky enough to find work after school was at a farm that raised turnips and rutabagas. The old farmer took a liking to my Dad so he often gave him (besides the few cents a day he earned) a burlap sack full of turnips and rutabagas "to give to your Mum".
It's a very complex story, because his Mum didn't want anyone to know her husband had left her, so she began to dress in black and call herself a "widow". Anyway - because my Dad brought these precious veggies home for all to eat (it was about all they had to eat) - he began to think of them as "GOLDEN" veggies.
When my Dad was about 14 years old, he quit High School and had his Mum (who didn't know what she was signing) declare him to be 18 and joined the Navy. He learned a lot in the Navy and always sent money home to his Mum and sister. He completed his High School equivalent (later, he would become an engineer at Case-Western University - through night school). He is one person I really have admired and am grateful he was my Dad and also that I occasionally got to hear "glimpses" of his past. At this point I would like to stop and tell ALL my readers to please APPRECIATE your Mum and Dad while they are still alive; love them!
ANYWAY - growing up in Asia, I never knew anything about "turnips or rutabagas" - they simply didn't grow there. My Dad used to tell me about these GOLDEN veggies in such a way (well, he was a natural-born story teller anyway!) that I would drool and felt I almost could taste these "golden veggies" as I took each bite (in my imagination).
Fast forward about 40 years and my Dad (then in Florida) invited me to partake in the BEST meal "he could ever make" (his words, not mine!). Mind you, my Dad had taught himself to become a gourmet chef....he could make Japanese or Chinese cuisine, make his own breads, dabbled in Indian and Sri Lankan curries, and everything he made was delicious! So he served me a casserole made of turnips and rutabagas. Imagine, thinking these were the GOLDEN veggies and anticipating same. I took one bite and gagged....these were HORRIBLE tasting veggies!!! I would have rather eaten DIRT than eaten these disgusting veggies!!! Still, I loved my Dad so much that I didn't want to "disappoint him", so I smiled as best I could, GULPED (sipped a lot of water!) and said "Oh yeah, Dad, they're delicious!!" "Here, have some MORE" he said, piling the disgusting tasting veggies on my plate.
I cannot STAND turnips or rutabagas to this day. I am glad I ate them that evening in front of my Dad - it meant a lot to him and I loved him SO MUCH.
My Dad, in making that casserole, was giving me a huge part of his past and his heart and for that I am always grateful, but I will NEVER learn to "love" eating turnips or rutabagas!
It's a very complex story, because his Mum didn't want anyone to know her husband had left her, so she began to dress in black and call herself a "widow". Anyway - because my Dad brought these precious veggies home for all to eat (it was about all they had to eat) - he began to think of them as "GOLDEN" veggies.
When my Dad was about 14 years old, he quit High School and had his Mum (who didn't know what she was signing) declare him to be 18 and joined the Navy. He learned a lot in the Navy and always sent money home to his Mum and sister. He completed his High School equivalent (later, he would become an engineer at Case-Western University - through night school). He is one person I really have admired and am grateful he was my Dad and also that I occasionally got to hear "glimpses" of his past. At this point I would like to stop and tell ALL my readers to please APPRECIATE your Mum and Dad while they are still alive; love them!
ANYWAY - growing up in Asia, I never knew anything about "turnips or rutabagas" - they simply didn't grow there. My Dad used to tell me about these GOLDEN veggies in such a way (well, he was a natural-born story teller anyway!) that I would drool and felt I almost could taste these "golden veggies" as I took each bite (in my imagination).
Fast forward about 40 years and my Dad (then in Florida) invited me to partake in the BEST meal "he could ever make" (his words, not mine!). Mind you, my Dad had taught himself to become a gourmet chef....he could make Japanese or Chinese cuisine, make his own breads, dabbled in Indian and Sri Lankan curries, and everything he made was delicious! So he served me a casserole made of turnips and rutabagas. Imagine, thinking these were the GOLDEN veggies and anticipating same. I took one bite and gagged....these were HORRIBLE tasting veggies!!! I would have rather eaten DIRT than eaten these disgusting veggies!!! Still, I loved my Dad so much that I didn't want to "disappoint him", so I smiled as best I could, GULPED (sipped a lot of water!) and said "Oh yeah, Dad, they're delicious!!" "Here, have some MORE" he said, piling the disgusting tasting veggies on my plate.
I cannot STAND turnips or rutabagas to this day. I am glad I ate them that evening in front of my Dad - it meant a lot to him and I loved him SO MUCH.
My Dad, in making that casserole, was giving me a huge part of his past and his heart and for that I am always grateful, but I will NEVER learn to "love" eating turnips or rutabagas!
Friday, August 26, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Silence of Love......
A friend sent me this 3-minute video link called "Silence of Love" - it's in Thai with English subtitles. She warned me she had cried and cried as she watched it. I cried and cried too, and I think many of you will cry too, as it touches a part of our heart where both love and pain live. What it "says" is what is of REAL importance in life and what isn't. There is nothing greater than a father's or mother's love....and if we look for that love to be "perfect".....we've missed the whole point.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZMX6H6YY1M
There's a "P.S." to this post. My husband (who cried his eyes out but later said "macho men don't cry") is pragmatic and said a part of the video didn't make sense.....how could a deaf person "hear" a loud noise in the bathroom. But I've asked a friend of mine who is deaf (I find it odd to use the phrase "hearing impaired" because she is completely deaf, whereas "hearing impaired" could mean 40-50% loss of hearing). She said "we may not be able to hear, but any thud or noise reverberates and we are most aware of it....for instance, a slamming door".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZMX6H6YY1M
There's a "P.S." to this post. My husband (who cried his eyes out but later said "macho men don't cry") is pragmatic and said a part of the video didn't make sense.....how could a deaf person "hear" a loud noise in the bathroom. But I've asked a friend of mine who is deaf (I find it odd to use the phrase "hearing impaired" because she is completely deaf, whereas "hearing impaired" could mean 40-50% loss of hearing). She said "we may not be able to hear, but any thud or noise reverberates and we are most aware of it....for instance, a slamming door".
Saturday, August 20, 2011
RWANDA and why????
Supposedly, these are the origins of the Hut-Tutsi massacres in the 1990's http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rwandan_Genocide
It is not TRUE that the Hutus had the backing of the French and so "convenient" to blame the "colonial powers of past" for ALL their troubles. In fact, it's SO EASY to blame "foreign powers" for a hatred that begins internally. I quote Sri Lanka - and the troubles between Tamils and Sinhalas - oh sure, this could ALL be thrown in the laps of "foreigners" who "instigated" these tensions. I disagree with all this. And U.N. forces at the time said "we did the BEST we could!"
TOO many people died for nothing!
It is not TRUE that the Hutus had the backing of the French and so "convenient" to blame the "colonial powers of past" for ALL their troubles. In fact, it's SO EASY to blame "foreign powers" for a hatred that begins internally. I quote Sri Lanka - and the troubles between Tamils and Sinhalas - oh sure, this could ALL be thrown in the laps of "foreigners" who "instigated" these tensions. I disagree with all this. And U.N. forces at the time said "we did the BEST we could!"
TOO many people died for nothing!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Insurance??? - in AMERICA??
I just talked to a lady who has worked for a local hospital for over 35 years (and would like to continue to do so had it not been for back surgery). After 3 months - the hospital CUT HER BONE DRY of insurance and left her on the raft of "COBRA" - anyone who has ever paid a COBRA knows how expensive that is. She is nowhere near CURED and has to pay some $300+ per session for physical therapy (which will last a long while). Her sister is housing her and taking care of her meanwhile. The family all went down to Social Services to ask for a few months of assistance. "Do you have a teenage grand-daughter who is pregnant?" was the first question. "No" she replied. "Do you rent?" "No, I own my home" - "THEN you don't qualify for a cent! Goodbye!!"
I know a lady who has 9 children by 9 different "fathers" (she is only married to ONE of them, who is in prison, the other 8 were born out of wedlock) and yes, she DOES rent (although she has a degree in nursing) - she is eligible for ALL the Welfare and COUPONS (food stamps) - but our friend who who had back surgery is not eligible for anything because she doesn't have pregnant teenaged grand-daughters and because she owns a home, not renting. Can anyone ELSE besides me see something wrong with this system??? Our "system" pays you to be "immoral" - hey, if you have babies out of wedlock, you're "guaranteed" a Welfare and WIC check.
Our Daughter has VOWED to move to Canada as an emigrant and as such "invite" us to come as well. God, I hope so. At least we would be "set" financially as far as health benefits go. Furthermore, I feel they are more willing to try more innovative treatments in Canada than in USA. I have a cousin with pancreatic cancer and though I am CONSTANTLY reminded by an American "friend" - "he won't last more than 6 months". Whatever they are doing in Canada, it has already been over 2 years since the diagnosis and he is not only alive, he appears quite well.
This meeting of a friend (who works for same hospital as my husband) scared us immensely. It means - it's OK to get sick, so long as it's not longer than 3 months??? What kind of "insurance" is this???
I know a lady who has 9 children by 9 different "fathers" (she is only married to ONE of them, who is in prison, the other 8 were born out of wedlock) and yes, she DOES rent (although she has a degree in nursing) - she is eligible for ALL the Welfare and COUPONS (food stamps) - but our friend who who had back surgery is not eligible for anything because she doesn't have pregnant teenaged grand-daughters and because she owns a home, not renting. Can anyone ELSE besides me see something wrong with this system??? Our "system" pays you to be "immoral" - hey, if you have babies out of wedlock, you're "guaranteed" a Welfare and WIC check.
Our Daughter has VOWED to move to Canada as an emigrant and as such "invite" us to come as well. God, I hope so. At least we would be "set" financially as far as health benefits go. Furthermore, I feel they are more willing to try more innovative treatments in Canada than in USA. I have a cousin with pancreatic cancer and though I am CONSTANTLY reminded by an American "friend" - "he won't last more than 6 months". Whatever they are doing in Canada, it has already been over 2 years since the diagnosis and he is not only alive, he appears quite well.
This meeting of a friend (who works for same hospital as my husband) scared us immensely. It means - it's OK to get sick, so long as it's not longer than 3 months??? What kind of "insurance" is this???
How Rep. of Cameroon Deals With Gays.....
So Hard to believe in this year 2011 - but the Rep. of Cameroon in Africa ARRESTS gays and lesbians because it is "against their law". This isn't RIGHT!
Yvonne the Run-Away Cow Shakes up Bavaria
Yvonne is a cow that ran away and if/when she is caught, she will be tranquilized and sent to a VERY happy place. So many times I have thought of "rescuing" a cow from a truck going to slaughter with hopes the public would admire said cow so much they wouldn't kill her but would protect her.
Thank goodness, Yvonne has a place in Bavarian hearts!
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/aug/15/cow-fugitive-germany-reward
Thank goodness, Yvonne has a place in Bavarian hearts!
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/aug/15/cow-fugitive-germany-reward
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
I don't know what to say.....
We live in this superfast world yet children in Somalia are dying of hunger. We have friends who like to PLUG THEIR EARS to anything "real" and I'm sorry for them. They figure that if these starving children are FAR AWAY, it doesn't COUNT. We are significantly touched by these incidents in the world; they are REAL to us and we want to help. Our family isn't a citizen of any particular country - we are citizens of the world, and as such.....these starving people are our sisters and brothers.
How does an American or Canadian parent put one's child to sleep at night without thinking of a Somalian child? Have Westerners become so callous that they only care about their private little world and interests?
This is one BIG problem we have living in USA. When I lived in Sri Lanka - to me it seemed to be the centre of the UNIVERSE and all else "earth" revolved around it. Here in USA - there are SO MANY people who feel "insulated & isolated" about their earthly neighbours. So MANY Americans feel "hey - that's a world away - it doesn't affect me!"...so they just close off the "rest of the world" and pretend it doesn't exist. So people carry on with their daily routines and passtimes and ignore many of the things going on in the REAL world. They look the other way.
How does an American or Canadian parent put one's child to sleep at night without thinking of a Somalian child? Have Westerners become so callous that they only care about their private little world and interests?
This is one BIG problem we have living in USA. When I lived in Sri Lanka - to me it seemed to be the centre of the UNIVERSE and all else "earth" revolved around it. Here in USA - there are SO MANY people who feel "insulated & isolated" about their earthly neighbours. So MANY Americans feel "hey - that's a world away - it doesn't affect me!"...so they just close off the "rest of the world" and pretend it doesn't exist. So people carry on with their daily routines and passtimes and ignore many of the things going on in the REAL world. They look the other way.
A Very "SAD" Impression of Switzerland
We have never actually been IN the country of Switzerland, and believe it to be one of the most beautiful places on earth scenery-wise. Alas, we were ONLY in the Zurich airport in 2004 changing planes (coming and going) to Colombo, Sri Lanka. I have a very sad "memory" of that airport. In the bathroom stall next to mine I heard a loud grunting sound from someone in the next stall, later.....a hypodermic needle fell to the floor and shortly after that - a HAND came to pick up same hypodermic needle. I also noticed the light in that strange washroom - it was a "greenish" type (later, I would read that such lights are put in so heroin addicts can't see their veins). Just imagine if that is one's ONLY view of Switzerland (and it may not have even been a Swiss person in the stall next to mine). So sad.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Cargill Inc.
Of course, I do not care to be sued, so I post Cargills official website:
http://www.cargillmeatsolutions.com/
They can't sue me for that. I also post what Wikipedia says reference Cargill:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cargill_Meat_Solutions
So please sue Wikipedia, not me for this.
Then again, there is the Greenpeace summary of Cargills:
http://www.greenpeace.org/international/en/publications/reports/cargill-amazon/
Again - these are greenpeace's words, not mine!
There is more I would like to write about Cargills' distribution worldwide of seeds, but here is one link reference Dow Chemicals:
http://cornandsoybeandigest.com/dow-chemical-acquires-cargill-hybrid-seeds
and yet another indicated by "Food, Inc." which has nothing to do with me.
http://www.nffc.net/Learn/Fact%20Sheets/food%20inc%20and%20fresh.pdf
This is just a look and decide page, and I do not personally support or attest to any of the opinions given herein.
http://www.cargillmeatsolutions.com/
They can't sue me for that. I also post what Wikipedia says reference Cargill:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cargill_Meat_Solutions
So please sue Wikipedia, not me for this.
Then again, there is the Greenpeace summary of Cargills:
http://www.greenpeace.org/international/en/publications/reports/cargill-amazon/
Again - these are greenpeace's words, not mine!
There is more I would like to write about Cargills' distribution worldwide of seeds, but here is one link reference Dow Chemicals:
http://cornandsoybeandigest.com/dow-chemical-acquires-cargill-hybrid-seeds
and yet another indicated by "Food, Inc." which has nothing to do with me.
http://www.nffc.net/Learn/Fact%20Sheets/food%20inc%20and%20fresh.pdf
This is just a look and decide page, and I do not personally support or attest to any of the opinions given herein.
ARTIFICIAL MEAT "SEITAN" from Wheat Gluten.....
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Control Freaks....
Every now and again we encounter "control freaks" in our lives. I have to tell you about my worst case scenario - about 8 years ago......I met a woman who, initially, befriended me with "all her heart" - anything I desired she was there to "help" - to help me thread a sewing machine, to help me with a pattern, to help me in any way she could. How nice, I thought, to have such a friend.
Little by little there were "signs" but I didn't catch on. During one sewing session at my house the phone rang, and as we had a business naturally I had to answer the phone. "Well! I have better things to do with my time than come help if you're going to CHAT on the phone!" THAT should've alerted me to "control freak" (it's how they start). The next was that I liked to make cornbread from a mix box. "But I make mine from scratch!" she said adamantly "and you have FAR more time on your hands than I do!" Right then I should've told her "LOOK - you go ahead and make your cornbread YOUR way, and I'll make mine MY way." But as we are civilized, naturally, we don't say that, so "control freaks" gain more ground. THEN she wanted to know why my pots and pans weren't spotless like hers are (I was beginning to get really get fed up with her at that point!). "After all, it ONLY takes a few minutes of polishing and you have FAR more TIME on your hands than I do!!"
As you can imagine the "friendship" came to a close (over a stupid pair of glasses which my poor husband had grabbed in a rainstorm thinking they were mine). I remember some of the things she had told me previously and don't know why I even let her go that far in controlling me.....my husband and I liked to shop at a certain supermarket and she told me "you know - Hispanics don't shop where you shop....they shop at the OTHER store!" I resented that. I shop were I darn well please, thank you!!
Then I remember my sweet, sweet friend, Jane (NOT a control freak at all), who (thank God) is still going at age 88!! Jane was a seamstress and she taught me countless times how to thread a sewing machine, how to loosen the tension of the bobbin, etc. and Jane was just Jane...she never questioned what I did with "all that free time!" - she just shared with me and didn't tell me how to live my life.
I wonder if some control freaks failed in their lives (maybe they had bad experiences in their youths?) thus somehow need to CONTROL others to be happy. I think of another sewing friend, Mary, who makes my face light up when I think of her innocence and her smile.....she helped me time after time to make a Tibetan blouse for my daughter and never once tried to "run my house or life". There are a lot of unhappy people in this world who derive pleasure from controlling the lives of others.
Sadly - many people have "strings" attached to their love or friendship. My Mum used to give us things but always with "strings attached". A gift is a gift and one should be able to do whatever one wants with a gift. My Dad was just the opposite - he'd give you the MOON if you wanted it and no strings attached.
One thing I've discovered as I grow older. I don't like people telling me what to do! I obeyed my parents with utmost obedience (and gladly so). I obeyed my teachers and professors and bosses. But I reached a point in my life (duh, maybe having a heart attack will do that???) where I woke up and said: "I owe allegiance to God and my husband - in that order". I don't really appreciate someone telling me what "else" I could be doing with my time or how I could be making soap from scraps just to save $1.00. We work very, very hard for a living.
Be wary of the control freak types - they are not here to "help" you in any way. A friend told me long ago: "Friends come into your lives for a REASON, a SEASON or a LIFETIME" - so determine that well.
BUT - as I said - this life is very, very short and we should appreciate it. Try to LOVE as much as you can and try to forgive. KEEP away from those who try to malipulate or control. Try to desensetize as much as possible.
Little by little there were "signs" but I didn't catch on. During one sewing session at my house the phone rang, and as we had a business naturally I had to answer the phone. "Well! I have better things to do with my time than come help if you're going to CHAT on the phone!" THAT should've alerted me to "control freak" (it's how they start). The next was that I liked to make cornbread from a mix box. "But I make mine from scratch!" she said adamantly "and you have FAR more time on your hands than I do!" Right then I should've told her "LOOK - you go ahead and make your cornbread YOUR way, and I'll make mine MY way." But as we are civilized, naturally, we don't say that, so "control freaks" gain more ground. THEN she wanted to know why my pots and pans weren't spotless like hers are (I was beginning to get really get fed up with her at that point!). "After all, it ONLY takes a few minutes of polishing and you have FAR more TIME on your hands than I do!!"
As you can imagine the "friendship" came to a close (over a stupid pair of glasses which my poor husband had grabbed in a rainstorm thinking they were mine). I remember some of the things she had told me previously and don't know why I even let her go that far in controlling me.....my husband and I liked to shop at a certain supermarket and she told me "you know - Hispanics don't shop where you shop....they shop at the OTHER store!" I resented that. I shop were I darn well please, thank you!!
Then I remember my sweet, sweet friend, Jane (NOT a control freak at all), who (thank God) is still going at age 88!! Jane was a seamstress and she taught me countless times how to thread a sewing machine, how to loosen the tension of the bobbin, etc. and Jane was just Jane...she never questioned what I did with "all that free time!" - she just shared with me and didn't tell me how to live my life.
I wonder if some control freaks failed in their lives (maybe they had bad experiences in their youths?) thus somehow need to CONTROL others to be happy. I think of another sewing friend, Mary, who makes my face light up when I think of her innocence and her smile.....she helped me time after time to make a Tibetan blouse for my daughter and never once tried to "run my house or life". There are a lot of unhappy people in this world who derive pleasure from controlling the lives of others.
Sadly - many people have "strings" attached to their love or friendship. My Mum used to give us things but always with "strings attached". A gift is a gift and one should be able to do whatever one wants with a gift. My Dad was just the opposite - he'd give you the MOON if you wanted it and no strings attached.
One thing I've discovered as I grow older. I don't like people telling me what to do! I obeyed my parents with utmost obedience (and gladly so). I obeyed my teachers and professors and bosses. But I reached a point in my life (duh, maybe having a heart attack will do that???) where I woke up and said: "I owe allegiance to God and my husband - in that order". I don't really appreciate someone telling me what "else" I could be doing with my time or how I could be making soap from scraps just to save $1.00. We work very, very hard for a living.
Be wary of the control freak types - they are not here to "help" you in any way. A friend told me long ago: "Friends come into your lives for a REASON, a SEASON or a LIFETIME" - so determine that well.
BUT - as I said - this life is very, very short and we should appreciate it. Try to LOVE as much as you can and try to forgive. KEEP away from those who try to malipulate or control. Try to desensetize as much as possible.
"Easy" Does It!!!!
We have a friend whose native tongue is Spanish. Her kids (now grown with children of their own) eagerly wanted to learn Spanish. But she corrected them and corrected them (and quite often in public!). If they pronounced "ajuanta" (withstand) like "ah-uan-tah" (which is correct) - she would say "No, not ah-uan-tah, it's AAH-uan-ta". So, her kids would try "AAH-uan-ta", but that also wasn't "correct" to their Mum (and no pronunciation ever would be; she changed it because she couldn't stand anyone speaking Spanish as PERFECTLY as she did). "Ah-uan-tah!" she would say (which is back to the original pronunciation) and her kids would repeat "Ah-uan-tah!" - but no, it was never "correct" ENOUGH!! This same friend would say "my kids DON'T WANT to learn Spanish!"
When her kids even attempted to speak Spanish she would let them know in no uncertain terms that they had "accents like gringos". Well, guess what happened? Not one single kid or grandkid speaks Spanish or wants anything to do with it. I can still hear her kids saying the word "mamon" (meaning idiot) and being corrected to pronounce it MAH-mohn. They would try so desperately to say "MAH-mohn" just as she had said then she would change it to Ma-MOHN. There was no pleasing her. So sad, too bad - HER loss for being such a stubborn woman.
When our daughter attempts Spanish - we let a lot "slide" so that she'll build up some confidence. Trust me, there will be others in this world who will correct her pronunciation, but for us the important thing is that she trusts us enough (not to keep CORRECTING her!) to TRY to speak Spanish. Because of this, she won 2 prizes in Spanish this past year.
So, if you have a gift of language to offer to your children - be it Hindi, Russian, Spanish or Arabic.....give them a little "slack" in pronunciation and then they will make the effort to study and learn more. If you CORRECT them over and over again - they will give up; simple as that!
When her kids even attempted to speak Spanish she would let them know in no uncertain terms that they had "accents like gringos". Well, guess what happened? Not one single kid or grandkid speaks Spanish or wants anything to do with it. I can still hear her kids saying the word "mamon" (meaning idiot) and being corrected to pronounce it MAH-mohn. They would try so desperately to say "MAH-mohn" just as she had said then she would change it to Ma-MOHN. There was no pleasing her. So sad, too bad - HER loss for being such a stubborn woman.
When our daughter attempts Spanish - we let a lot "slide" so that she'll build up some confidence. Trust me, there will be others in this world who will correct her pronunciation, but for us the important thing is that she trusts us enough (not to keep CORRECTING her!) to TRY to speak Spanish. Because of this, she won 2 prizes in Spanish this past year.
So, if you have a gift of language to offer to your children - be it Hindi, Russian, Spanish or Arabic.....give them a little "slack" in pronunciation and then they will make the effort to study and learn more. If you CORRECT them over and over again - they will give up; simple as that!
MAKE the special effort.....
There was a lady who worked in the same building where I worked. We exchanged pleasantries "Good Morning!", etc. but that was it. We really didn't know much about one another.
One day last year when the building was EMPTY except for Marilyn (not her real name) and I.....I heard a horrible crash and an "oh!" afterwards. The noise was so deafening that I thought a huge tree had fallen on the building (which, in retrospect was dumb, as there are no trees nearby!).....something made me run towards Marilyn's office. There she was on the floor.....writhing in pain, unable to move. The manner in which her arm lied in an unnatural position on the floor, I knew SOMETHING was broken. I also knew better than to PULL her up (or it might damage her more). She's a very, very stubborn woman. I tried to call her an ambulance, she wouldn't hear of it. There was no way I would leave her all alone in that building by herself just lying on the floor.....who DOES that to a fellow human being? She argued and argued with me about calling an ambulance. FINALLY - she said she would let me take her to hospital IF I drove her car. I said "No, Marilyn, you have a brand new car and I really would rather not drive it. We'll go in my mini-van." Reluctantly, she agreed and somehow pulled herself up (I offered only an arm and shoulder to lean on as I remember from First Aid training never to PULL someone up). We rode down the elevator and I got her safely in my mini-van....and drove to ER (Emergency Room).
That was a smart move because she had fractured her shoulder. The ER doctor took xrays and referred her to a specialist. She is quite a determined woman because she wanted to go BACK to work that afternoon! Also, she kept wanting to PAY me. How can a human being accept money for doing what every human SHOULD do?
Gradually, we became friends and shared many things together. I accept her as she is (and she accepts me as I am). I was just now thinking that sometimes it takes a tragedy before people make friends. That's a real shame. We should make the special effort more often to get to know others and offer a helping hand or even a rose of friendship.
There are many, many people in this world like Marilyn, who live alone, who are used to doing things a certain way (and comfortably so) but then an accident happens to change their world, and the least we can do is be there to help.
We need to be attentive to the needs of fellow human beings. In my religion we believe that God can DWELL within any stranger and one never knows which one....so treat each and every person like God and He will be happy. Make the special effort to get to know someone who is alone, lonely (there is a difference between alone & lonely)....make the effort to get to know someone who is physically or mentally challenged; make the effort to get to know someone who is of a different race, religion or culture (you never know what you might learn!). Embrace humanity....it's a GIFT.
One day last year when the building was EMPTY except for Marilyn (not her real name) and I.....I heard a horrible crash and an "oh!" afterwards. The noise was so deafening that I thought a huge tree had fallen on the building (which, in retrospect was dumb, as there are no trees nearby!).....something made me run towards Marilyn's office. There she was on the floor.....writhing in pain, unable to move. The manner in which her arm lied in an unnatural position on the floor, I knew SOMETHING was broken. I also knew better than to PULL her up (or it might damage her more). She's a very, very stubborn woman. I tried to call her an ambulance, she wouldn't hear of it. There was no way I would leave her all alone in that building by herself just lying on the floor.....who DOES that to a fellow human being? She argued and argued with me about calling an ambulance. FINALLY - she said she would let me take her to hospital IF I drove her car. I said "No, Marilyn, you have a brand new car and I really would rather not drive it. We'll go in my mini-van." Reluctantly, she agreed and somehow pulled herself up (I offered only an arm and shoulder to lean on as I remember from First Aid training never to PULL someone up). We rode down the elevator and I got her safely in my mini-van....and drove to ER (Emergency Room).
That was a smart move because she had fractured her shoulder. The ER doctor took xrays and referred her to a specialist. She is quite a determined woman because she wanted to go BACK to work that afternoon! Also, she kept wanting to PAY me. How can a human being accept money for doing what every human SHOULD do?
Gradually, we became friends and shared many things together. I accept her as she is (and she accepts me as I am). I was just now thinking that sometimes it takes a tragedy before people make friends. That's a real shame. We should make the special effort more often to get to know others and offer a helping hand or even a rose of friendship.
There are many, many people in this world like Marilyn, who live alone, who are used to doing things a certain way (and comfortably so) but then an accident happens to change their world, and the least we can do is be there to help.
We need to be attentive to the needs of fellow human beings. In my religion we believe that God can DWELL within any stranger and one never knows which one....so treat each and every person like God and He will be happy. Make the special effort to get to know someone who is alone, lonely (there is a difference between alone & lonely)....make the effort to get to know someone who is physically or mentally challenged; make the effort to get to know someone who is of a different race, religion or culture (you never know what you might learn!). Embrace humanity....it's a GIFT.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
"O Mare E Tu"....the Sea and You
This is such a beautiful song sung by Andrea Bocelli and Dulce Pontes (who wrote the song). Andrea Bocelle is a pop/opera singer from Italy who was blinded at a young age. Please listen to this song, be patient and I will find the lyrics in both Portuguese (Dulce Pontes is a Fado singer - more on this later) and the English translation.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGyeuCEAyWU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wdlnjVjKrI&feature=related
Fado music you will follow some Arabic rhythms and will take you to places you cannot imagine, since the musical theory is far different from Western theory. The "Queen" of Fado was Amália Rodrigues who lived until 1999. If you ever wish to hear the BEST Fado singer ever - don't hesitate to buy: "The Art of Amália Rodriques" which is available at Amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/Art-Amalia-Rodrigues/dp/B00000C2NH/ref=sr_1_1?s=music&ie=UTF8&qid=1312422908&sr=1-1
Dulce (literally means "sweets" in English) Pontes is also a formitable Fado singer and composer for our modern world. Her latest is:
http://www.amazon.com/Primeiro-Canto-Dulce-Pontes/dp/B00003Q4LO/ref=sr_1_1?s=music&ie=UTF8&qid=1312422964&sr=1-1
Here you can read more about Dulce Pontes:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dulce_Pontes
And here you can read more about Andrea Bocelli:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrea_Bocelli
As promised the lyrics of "O Mare E Tu" in Portuguese and English:
Sentir em nos
Sentir em nos
Ulma razao
Para nao ficarmos sos
E nesse abraco forte
Sentir o mar
Na nossa voz,
Chorar como quem sonha
Sempre navegar
Nas velas rubras deste amor
Ao onge a barca louca perde o norte.
Amore mio
Si nun ce stess'o mare e tu
Nun ce stesse manch'io
Amore mio
L'amore esiste quanno nuje
Stamme vicino a dio
Amore
No teu alhar
Um espelho de agua
A vida a navegar
Por entre sonho e a magoa
Sem um adeus sequer.
E namsamente,
Talvez no mar,
Eu veita em espuma encontre
O sol do teu olhar,
Voga ao de leve, meu amor
Ao longe a barca nua
A lodo o pano.
Amore mio
Si nun ce stess'o mare e tu
Nun ce stesse manch'io
Amore mio
L'amore esiste quanno nuje
Stamme vicino a dio
Amore
Amore mio
Si nun ce stess'o mare e tu
Nun ce stesse manch'io
Amore mio
L'amore esiste quanno nuje
Stamme vicino a dio
-----------------------------
Even for us
Even for us
There's a reason
That keeps us here
And if you hold me tight
I'll cry, and I'll cry
Until I'd let myself go and
Moisten you with my tears
The tears of my love
A man lost his heart
In that street.
My love
If the sea and you were not here
I wouldn't be here either
My love
Love exists when
We are close to God
My love
Even for us
Even for us
There's another world
That'll never separate us
And without ever saying goodbye
I'll leave this place,
And you'll be gone
And that's why we'll never part
Nothing
Will take our love away
A man finds his heart
In that street
My love
If the sea and you were not here
I wouldn't be here either
My love,
Love exists when
We are close to God
My love
My love
If the sea and you were not here
I wouldn't be here either
My love
Love exists when
We are close to God
My love.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGyeuCEAyWU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wdlnjVjKrI&feature=related
Fado music you will follow some Arabic rhythms and will take you to places you cannot imagine, since the musical theory is far different from Western theory. The "Queen" of Fado was Amália Rodrigues who lived until 1999. If you ever wish to hear the BEST Fado singer ever - don't hesitate to buy: "The Art of Amália Rodriques" which is available at Amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/Art-Amalia-Rodrigues/dp/B00000C2NH/ref=sr_1_1?s=music&ie=UTF8&qid=1312422908&sr=1-1
Dulce (literally means "sweets" in English) Pontes is also a formitable Fado singer and composer for our modern world. Her latest is:
http://www.amazon.com/Primeiro-Canto-Dulce-Pontes/dp/B00003Q4LO/ref=sr_1_1?s=music&ie=UTF8&qid=1312422964&sr=1-1
Here you can read more about Dulce Pontes:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dulce_Pontes
And here you can read more about Andrea Bocelli:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrea_Bocelli
As promised the lyrics of "O Mare E Tu" in Portuguese and English:
Sentir em nos
Sentir em nos
Ulma razao
Para nao ficarmos sos
E nesse abraco forte
Sentir o mar
Na nossa voz,
Chorar como quem sonha
Sempre navegar
Nas velas rubras deste amor
Ao onge a barca louca perde o norte.
Amore mio
Si nun ce stess'o mare e tu
Nun ce stesse manch'io
Amore mio
L'amore esiste quanno nuje
Stamme vicino a dio
Amore
No teu alhar
Um espelho de agua
A vida a navegar
Por entre sonho e a magoa
Sem um adeus sequer.
E namsamente,
Talvez no mar,
Eu veita em espuma encontre
O sol do teu olhar,
Voga ao de leve, meu amor
Ao longe a barca nua
A lodo o pano.
Amore mio
Si nun ce stess'o mare e tu
Nun ce stesse manch'io
Amore mio
L'amore esiste quanno nuje
Stamme vicino a dio
Amore
Amore mio
Si nun ce stess'o mare e tu
Nun ce stesse manch'io
Amore mio
L'amore esiste quanno nuje
Stamme vicino a dio
-----------------------------
Even for us
Even for us
There's a reason
That keeps us here
And if you hold me tight
I'll cry, and I'll cry
Until I'd let myself go and
Moisten you with my tears
The tears of my love
A man lost his heart
In that street.
My love
If the sea and you were not here
I wouldn't be here either
My love
Love exists when
We are close to God
My love
Even for us
Even for us
There's another world
That'll never separate us
And without ever saying goodbye
I'll leave this place,
And you'll be gone
And that's why we'll never part
Nothing
Will take our love away
A man finds his heart
In that street
My love
If the sea and you were not here
I wouldn't be here either
My love,
Love exists when
We are close to God
My love
My love
If the sea and you were not here
I wouldn't be here either
My love
Love exists when
We are close to God
My love.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
If you THINK you know what poverty is....please take another look
THIS (unfortunately) is POVERTY. These children in Somalia are dying of malnutrition. Do not even TRY to compare this to poverty in America. Much of the "poverty" in America is due to poor choices on the part of the mother or father. THIS is REAL poverty - there is no food to be had. These children are at dying point.
"Poverty vs. Lawlessness"
The news media in USA is so messed up. It tries to make the public feel "sorry" for the underprivileged in this county. I JUST read about an arrest of a youth gang in our small town. These youths were (about 15 of them in all) walking and talking LOUDLY at 3:00 a.m. on a Sunday in July. These youths were not begging for food or impoverished in any REAL sense of the word. They were just bored (and probably "high" on drugs or alcohol, which gave them the extra "bravado"). A couple came out to ask them to please be quiet (after all, most people do have to wake up to WORK on Monday mornings). That did it.....the gang of 15 youths beat the couple senseless to the point where the wife's eye was swollen shut from being punched. The couple was taken to hospital.
YES, the police arrested them, but keep in mind most of the 15 were juveniles and will probably be released early due to their age. The couple?? They have no "Human Rights"....where are THEIR Human Rights???
Why does USA continue to portray hoodlums as "underprivileged"? And WHY were these 15 out on the streets at 3:00 in the morning?? Looking for food? Looking for work? Where were their parents?
People need to stop sugar-coating lawlessness. They need to make people accountable for lawlessness and stop playing the "poverty card". Really fed up with what I see.
This is lawlessness, not poverty!
Keeping Things in Perspective.....
Once, long ago, I came across a poem that was written (and I can't remember its author/authress) but it stuck with me a lifetime. You see, as we grow and age, we go through 3 distinct phases. In our first phase we are very self-conscious and worry what others may think about us, what image we project to them, what they might say or think about us. During the second phase....we've lived a lot more and in that phase we grow bolder and don't particularly care what others "think" about us.....we have made our peace with family and God. In our third phase of living, we gain tremendous insight and we realize that all the fears, frets, worries we'd ever had were in vain because "they" were never worried about us....they were worried about themselves. It goes something like this:
When I was 20, I worried what everyone thought about me.
When I was 40, I didn't care what anyone thought about me.
When I was 60, I realized "they'd" never been thinking or worrying about ME at all.
When I was 20, I worried what everyone thought about me.
When I was 40, I didn't care what anyone thought about me.
When I was 60, I realized "they'd" never been thinking or worrying about ME at all.
Negative People
Being around negative people is a sure-fired way to become negative oneself and be drained of energy. We’ve all heard the phrase “misery loves company”. Negative people are basically unhappy people and will try their level best to drag you down to that black hole where they live.
Maybe you have trouble even noticing who the negative people are in your life. If your mother and sister just died and someone comes up to you and says “Oh, bad news comes in THREES” (in other words you’re about to have another death in the family)….THAT is a negative person. If you’re trying your best to lose weight by walking on a treadmill daily and someone comes to tell you about his cousin who had to have knee surgery because of what the treadmill did to her knees…..THAT is a negative person. A positive person can look at a house with aluminum siding and say “Isn’t it great? Those people will never have to paint their house!” A negative person will look at the same aluminum siding and reply “yes, but you never know what is HIDING behind that siding!” (in other words perhaps wood rot, etc.). It’s the “bottle half full” mindset vs. “bottle half empty”.
Firstly, try to avoid such people. If they go on and on about some negative incident (trust me, these folks will always personally KNOW someone who either died of or had brain damage from the same surgery you’re about to have)…..just look at your watch and say “Hold that thought! I’ll be right back.” Then leave the room, perhaps go to the washroom, wash your hands, comb your hair, take your time. There’s a very good chance that by the time you return the negative person will have lost his/her train of thought.
Secondly, it takes two people to dance. How fun is it to dance all by oneself? When a negative person says something negative to you…..he is hoping to get a reaction from you or push the button that causes you to get upset. They play this negativity game because they’re starved for attention and one surefire way to get noticed is to provoke someone into getting upset. Mind you, most people don’t realize they are even being negative (more on that later). But if you don’t swallow the bait – he can longer derive pleasure….he is dancing alone. If you “dance” with him/her in that “waltz of negativity”, you are not only reinforcing the negative person to STAY negative (because they see they get attention that way)….but you are being dragged down the vortex right along with them. Compare this to dog training…….do you reward your doggie when he jumps up on you?….do you say “Good boy!!”….certainly not. Do you imitate his bad behaviour when he’s done something naughty….certainly not! So every time you engage in a negative person’s “web” (and believe me they can spin a web faster than any spider) you are “rewarding them” for behaving in a negative way.
Many people do not even realize they are being negative. It (negativity) has just become such a way of living that they don’t realize how truly negative they are. Here’s something you might try after a negative friend tells you about some dog the size of your dog who was carried away and eaten by a hawk, or tells you about a cousin whose hangnail got so infected the whole hand had to be amputated. Just look them in the eye after they finish and say. “Now, tell me a POSITIVE story!” and watch the reaction. They will be a little startled and this is because they weren’t aware they were telling a negative story. If they follow with another negative story….wait patiently and repeat “Now, tell me a positive story!” It will do one of two things…..it might actually help the person realize how negative he/she is and help him/her to become a more positive, optimistic person…..or (so you must be prepared for this as well) they will no longer want to be your friend, period. You’re no fun to “dance” with any longer.
Negative people aren’t just ones who tell you horror stories about someone who nearly died from whatever you are doing. Negative people can be quite subtle in their manipulation. Let’s say you baked a type of bread that everyone compliments you on. The negative person might say “You made it from scratch, right?” You reply truthfully “actually, it was a bread mix that I doctored up”. The negative person now has “fuel” to tell you that he makes his bread from scratch and that he doesn’t understand why you have to use a pre-made mix when it’s so EASY to make it properly from scratch. In case you didn’t realize it – he just took a shot at you and basically called you lazy. Negative people will compare their own work ethics, thriftiness habits, cooking habits to yours….but they will never compliment you. They will ask you WHY you put so much “this and that” or why you don’t make your own pillows from dustballs (I’m just kidding on that one, but you get my point) when you could save $2.00 by making your own. As you can see there are many different types of negative people.
The third type of negative people are what I call the “dream busters”. These people will ask your ideas or plans…..only to tell you what negative thing will happen because of it.
So, this is my personal philosophy. Something is very sad, empty, void or wrong the lives of such people. Perhaps they were hurt deeply (just remember – you cannot help them overcome that….they must do it on their own). Perhaps they were in a group and longed to “fit in” and were instead ignored or shunned. Be very kind to such people, but do not let them drag you into their web of negativity. It’s very difficult to do (especially if you are a hothead personality), but try not to personalize their comments. They’re not telling you that you baked a rotten loaf of bread…..they’re reliving an experience they had when they made something and didn’t receive accolades. You can’t “undo” their past. Try to desensitize yourself to their comments. If they push your buttons to the point where you are about to say something negative to them….get up physically and go wash your hands in the washroom. I know, easier said than done. But you cannot allow such people to drag you down. My basic rules are:
- Try to avoid being with negative people in the first place.
- If you can’t avoid being with them……do not allow their negative remarks to hurt you. Don’t take the remarks personally; desensitize. You weren’t the one who made them the way they are.
- Don’t “dance” with them….let them dance alone. After a while they will grow weary of dancing alone; don’t bite on the bait.
- Be kind and loving to such people. It’s difficult for a person to be negative or spiteful when you shower them with love (and mean it sincerely!).
- Be yourself.
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