Now THAT'S smooth talking!

I remember a story about my Dad when I was younger and please note I'm not boasting on his dishonesty.  I think one would have had to have hailed from his shoes to understand why he did what he did.  His father walked out the door when he was 4 years old and his sister was 2 years old.  His mother, so as not to "lose face" dressed in black and suddenly declared herself a "widow".    Anyway - he hailed from an extremely impoverished background, became a self-made man - took care of his Mum, sister, and when he married took care of all of us too.  He worked 3 jobs by day studied by night and became an electronics engineer.

But there was a side to Dad that felt as if he should always get something for nothing.  So, one day in Colombo, he decided he was going to make himself an orchid stand (he'd just become a member of the Orchid Society).  He needed lumber, naturally, and screen for shade.  Being as enterprising as Dad was....he went to a local lumber yard and told the workers to load up about 6 boards on top of our tiny car and "tie them down tightly so they don't fall off!".  The workers did as they were told, then the Assistant Manager came out asking "what's going on here??"  Oh, but my Dad was a SMOOTH talker (had never been to Ireland, but you would have sworn he had somehow managed to kiss the Blarney Stone!).  "I'm picking up the lumber Mr. De Silva gave me" (keep in mind, the surname "De Silva" in Sri Lanka is like Smith in U.K. and U.S.A.).  "Huh?  Which Mr. De Silva?" the assistant manager asked, scratching his head.  My Dad answered "SENIOR, naturally, not JUNIOR!!"  "Oh, OK".  And the assistant manager then ordered the workers to tie it up tightly so "Mr. De Silva" wouldn't get mad.....and my Dad (I was in the car, embarrassed!) drove off with the lumber....never paid a rupee for it either.  I thought surely we would go home after getting 6 long pieces of good lumber for free, but Dad had other plans.  He went to a store that sold screen and ordered about 4 meters of screen to be placed "GENTLY" and tied securely atop the lumber that was already atop our car.  This time the owner came out and asked "What are you doing?"  "Oh, don't you know?  Mr. De Silva from the lumber yard asked me to pick up some screen for him as well!  You can work it all out with Mr. De Silva!" - the owner scratched his head and asked "which Mr. De Silva?"  My Dad (without flinching) replied "The SENIOR one, of course!".  "Oh" said the shopkeeper and ordered the workers to load up 4 meters of screen and tie it tightly.

Of COURSE I am embarrassed that my Dad STOLE those ingredients.  Stealing is wrong.  On the other hand, I've never seen or heard such a great smooth talker!!!